You may have heard the statement, "a little child will lead them". Well in my case it is a adult child which has enlighten me.
All parents would like to have a good relationship with their children. Some do a better job at this than others. I for one have made a bunch of mistakes and it seems like there is no end to them. I know my heart is true and I want my children to be happy. It is not like I wake up in the mornings and say "now, what can I do to irritate my kids today." I look back at my mom's and my relationship and see how so much was wrong with it and yet so much was right. It is amazing to see how much we are like our parents when we get older and our children are grown with kids of their own. I do want a better relationship with my kids then my mom and I have. I guess this is what most parents want, but we seem to find ourselves in a situation and wonder how in the world did we get here?
One thing that I know would help any relationship is communication, love and forgiveness. We also need to have the willingness to accept constructive correction and want to change.
After doing some soul searching and observing some patterns, I have been able to understand more of what my children have been trying to tell me.
They have express concerns about my inability to allow them to live their life as they feel is right for them. My children and I are on a rocky road at this point in time and I know it is more me than them. I love my children and I know I will have to be the one to make some changes. It is very difficult to admit ones short comings, but I have realized (I hope not to late) being right or the thought of being right is highly overrated. My son tells me I like to "fix" people because he too is some what like this. We mean it for good, but I can see where it has gotten out of hand. I will need to learn to just enjoy our time together.
I have learned from very wise instruction how to start the process of giving my children room to breath. I still have a long way to go, but I know I am not where I was at. I hope my first step will be received as an act of apology and theirs will be the act of forgiveness.
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Well as my doc told me, we all have our quirks and issues and we have to work out how to compromise and deal with them. The key of course is communication. For me, a little tolerance would be an added bonus, and that's my flawed area.
I'm glad you've figured some of this out. Heather has helped me figure out some of my wonky issues, too. Thanks for the apology and I hope we can all move along together. Let's just remember what our differences are and we'll just keep them apart, agree to disagree on them, be respectful towards each others' ideas on them, and leave it at that. There are plenty of bits we can enjoy instead.
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